I love the DOC. I don't know how I lived without them for the first 2+ years of diagnosis. They are always there to answer my dumb questions and make me feel not-dumb about asking. They have a way of saying exactly what I need to hear exactly when I need to hear it. They give me advice when I need it without it sounding critical, sometimes when I don't even ask for it. lol. I have a confession.
Lately I've noticed how different it is for me. For us. For Brandan and I. I did not say BETTER. I said DIFFERENT.
Many well-intentioned folk like to tell me that it's easier for Brandan because he was diagnosed so young. It's supposedly easier because "he doesn't know any different." I myself have used that line, "he doesn't know any different", but that does not make it EASIER for him. And truth-be-told, he does know different. He knows that nobody else checks their sugar before they eat. He knows that nobody else puts all their food on a scale. He knows that nobody else wears an insulin pump. He knows that nobody else gets up in the middle of the night to eat to save their life. He's 4 so when I say "nobody", it means people he knows, k? ;-)
Oh, I strayed from my point a little. My confession. It looks like it might be just a little easier for ME in comparison to other D-Moms. I read blogs and FB posts that break my heart everyday. D-Moms get scared when they watch their D-child run and play outside. They fear their sugar will go low and she will miss it. They feel sorry for their D-child because of the burden they carry and I don't blame them, not one bit. They stress over the first of each holiday with their D-child. They worry about the candy, the parties, the new foods, the activity. They wonder what they should do with insulin doses, they wish they could leave the child alone for just one day and let them be a kid. And I don't blame them, not one bit.
It's different for me. It's different because I never knew what it was like to watch him play outside without D. He never ate candy, or big dinners, or ran around at parties without D. I was a mom for 12 months. I've been a D-Mom for almost 4 years. So maybe it's easier because it's all I know.
No, I don't believe it is easier for you than for other D Moms. In fact, harder, because your child was so young when diagnosed. The later the age of diagnosis, the better, emotionally and physically. Older children may have a harder time adjusting to the restrictions mentally. But I would never choose an earlier diagnosis over a later one... the later the better. You are doing a wonderful job adjusting to life with diabetes, that's all. And I'm sure your son takes his cue from you.,.. but this life is not an easy one... far from it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think a diagnosis at ANY age is "easier" or "better". It sucks whether it is at 12 months, 12 years, or 20 years. As a Dmom, I think the longer you do it, the more D can take a backseat...it is always there, usually just humming along but sometimes screaming at us in the face. With experience, we just know when we can tell it to wait and when we need to give it attention ASAP. As you said with Brandan, he knows different...and so do you...even if you haven't lived it. These kids are superheros :-)
ReplyDeleteI am SO grateful for the DOC! Such a wonderful source of support!
ReplyDeleteI think there are so many factors that come into play -- personality, child's personality, how kind D has been lately, how D is managed at school, local support, additional stresses, how D affects the family financially, etc.
Some people, I think, also use their blogs to vent. They get it all out and work through issues, emotions and experiences on their blogs. So we might only be seeing a partial view.
On the other hand, you might be onto something. :) This post has me thinking though... :)